How do I save my marriage without Pushing my husband away?

My husband and I seperated 3 weeks ago. I desperatly want to save my marriage but I do not know how. I am begging for marriage, counceling, family counceling and to come back home. He says no to all. Says that is not the answer. I am the only one trying it seems. Says he loves me and he does miss me, but he needs time. I know men and women definetly think differently, so please give me some words of wisdom to help me save my marriage.How do I save my marriage without Pushing my husband away?
if you are the only one trying, why should you carry the burden ... he needs time for what ??? people can't work things out by being apart, or is he trying to get something off his chest ,,, sounds as he does not want to save your marrriage, otherwise, he would make a heartfelt effort to be with you ,,, stand for something or you'll fall for anything .... 464 15 9868How do I save my marriage without Pushing my husband away?
Your marriage can be saved. Go to www.divorcebusting.com -- you'll find hope there.
Not enough info: What caused the separation? How old are you and your husband? Did you have sex before marriage. with him or anyone else? Do you have any children? How are your families finances? Do you both work? Do you own a home or do you rent? How was your sex life going before the separation? Did it go from often to seldom? Who was saying no? There are a lot of factors involved in every situation and every situation is different. When people take their vows, they take them with God not just between each other and the minister or priest. In the vows the woman says, love, honor, cherish and obey, and later it says forsaking all others, and then it says these two are now one. The first vow that women forget 10 minutes after the ceremony is OBEY! After the honeymoon, and they get back to their personal lives the next vow they forget is forsaking all others. He says, I'm going out with the guys and she says I'm going to visit my family. If you two are now one, how does one go in two opposite directions at the same time? So now you two are not one, but are in the process of drifting apart and doing your own thing. If you can't give up your friends for your wife/husband, then you broke the vow of forsaking all others. The next factor would be sex in a marriage, the bible states that neither shall deprive the other of sex. With the hustle and bustle of life many women say no because they have a headache or they are to tired, or are all stressed out. All bad excuses - Sex is an automatic tension reliever, your headache will go away, your stress will be reduced, it is excellent cardio vascular exercise, and it helps you to sleep soundly and naturally. Raising children, keeping a schedule so that they have their time and you and your husband have yours. Pulling together and not apart when raising children is a must, if Mommy says no, then it's no, and going to Daddy is not going to change the answer. If you should disagree, get your spouse alone, (not in front of the children), and explain your feelings and see why your husband said yes or no. Never show the children they can play you off on each other, or they will. Do whatever you do together, make the plans and say we are going to see my Mom and Dad on Saturday, not I am going. In a marriage there is no more I/me it is now we/us. You can only drift apart if your not together in all that you do every day.





Sex before marriage is a big factor in why things go wrong in marriages and relationships. The bible states a woman shall go to her husband (not bf), a virgin. In having sex before marriage you broke at least two of God's commands, 1 - Honor thy Mother and thy Father and 2 - a woman shall go to her husband a virgin. So by having sex before marriage you betrayed your parents trust, broke God's commands, lost your virginity, allowed Satan into your life, and became a harlot all by committing the one act. God does not bless fornication. No one ever realizes why things aren't working out for them, or why their relationships are going sour, or their marriage is on the rocks, because they forgot that when they disobeyed God, they lost his blessing. Satan now has a hold on your life, Satan, the father of all lies will continue to disrupt your life any way he desires. You fell prey to the temptations of the flesh, Satan let you. When you dance to Satan's music you have to pay Satan his due. Go to church, pray, ask forgiveness, and you and your family should continue services together regularly. If sex before marriage happened when you were 16, and now your in your 30's it doesn't matter, Satan has forever to disrupt your life, time for him is not an issue. Every time things seem to be looking up Satan will do something to mess it all up again. If you went to your husband a virgin, then God will intervene for you if you ask him to. God is the only one that can change the condition of ones heart.





You have to do some soul searching, figure out what the biggest factors in this disruption of your marriage was, then offer a change or a solution to the problem and be willing to work at it together. Only you know what factors caused the unrest in your marriage, and the feeling that he needs time and his own space. Again it is the I/me and not the we/us at work. You want, he needs - not we want and we need? If you are one how can one get away from itself? Communication is the best way to resolve issues and get to the bottom of the cause of the problems. There are no lies or secrets between a married couple. So if there was a problem why wasn't it brought out in the open and discussed, instead of waiting for the straw that broke the camels back? The only reason a married couple should have to separate and get a divorce is adultery. Other factors are physical, mental and emotional abuse. Other than that neither should leave the other regardless if they are angry with each other or not. They should still share the same bed and still have sex if either desire
The answer I give is definitely 'pushing' but you are in a situation that needs a firm hand.





Basically- you say: You need time or a date with someone else? We've spent this much time together and being apart isn't going to help. We need to be hand in hand through hell or high water and this is both. If you want to work it out, in whatever way you're comfortable with, coming home is the only way. Our problems are at home waiting to be handled or deemed unfixable- being away does neither. If you decide 'time' is more important than a little hard work on something worthwhile, we can just finish this now and it'll be on your chest not mine. I love you and I want you. However, this is up to you now.
You cannot make someone want you. Step back, give him the time he needs. And you also take the time to think and feel what you need and want. There is nothing else you can do. Any hysterics, begging, nagging will only drive him away further. So take a deep breath and get on with your life the best you can for the moment. You never know, you might rediscover your own confidence and independence and prefer some time out from him. If he wants to be with you, he will come to you. If not, its his loss. But dont beg a man to love you, its very demeaning, and he wont respect you for it.
If he's the only one who wishes to save this marriage, sweetie, he has another lady.





And for that, you don't what him back.





That's betrayal...he says he loves you and misses you to keep you as the ';jerk in reserve'; just in case this doesn't work out.


It takes two people committed to the marriage to wish to save it. You're only 50% of the equation.... not even close.


Bail, hon.





If you're a lovely lady, There are literally tons of men who would love to be your partner... all you need to do is accept the fact you make a mistake, and get out of this.





What he was and who is is now, are just not the same guy.
If your are the only one trying then you need to take a step back and give him time. he may just need some time to sought out whatever he is feeling. Besides if you're the only one trying then there is always the possibility that he just not interested anymore, which sucks, I know, but you have to remember you deserve to be happy too. You don't want to make someone do something that their heart isn't fully commited to. Good Luck! I'm about to seperate so I know how you feel!
I think you should give him time to stay waiting to long.