How do you make a marriage work when you never see your spouse?

Say if you work completely opposite schedules, or if they travel alot, or even if their in the military....


how can a marriage sucessfully survive when you never see each other?How do you make a marriage work when you never see your spouse?
How you make it work is the small things when you are together. I was in the military and we were apart a lot of the time. But when we were together, it's the small stuff that you remember: my wife used to stay up half the night making sure my patches were sewn on correctly, she remembered names and events that happened, she would cook my favorite meal the first night back even though she was pregnant and everything made her sick. Like I said, it's the small stuff. Because once a small, nice gesture happens, you are in a good mood and when you have to leave again, you remember the good because that is all their was. And then you have to try and communicate when apart. My wife used to send my pictures almost daily through e-mail, we would talk whenever I hit port.





It takes a commitment on both sides, one person can't try harder then the other. Both partners have to be willing to go that extra mile and make up for the lost time.How do you make a marriage work when you never see your spouse?
By having a strong base of love and trust that doesn't require you always being together.


Since your schedules are so opposite you could; leave a love note on the pillow, make a dinner and leave it in the fridge to be heated up, send text messages to each other randomly, schedule to both take a day off work. And remember the situation is likely temporary, whereas the marriage is permanent.








EDIT: No job or schedule is permanent. If you think the only way your marriage can work is by seeing eachother all the time then either work to adjust your schedule, make peace with your situation or give up(which it seems what you want to do with all your excuses of why our ideas won't work )
As a military wife, I can tell you, I have the best of both worlds.





I might get criticized for saying this, but I think his periodic absences help our marriage survive.





Just as I am sick of his snoring, inability to clean up after himself, the hairs in the sink and the empty beer bottles laying around, off he goes. And while he is gone, I find I miss those very things that drive me so nuts.


When he comes home, we get to fall in love all over again.





I think it may be the only reason I haven't broomed him to the curb, lol!





Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. You just have to fill the time they are gone with productive things - like your job, a new hobby, etc.





It can work. Believe me.
Well, as far as distance my husband and I used web cams and phone calls..... for even more than just talking if you know what I mean =0] If I were in your situation I would keep a note book and ';pass notes';. As cheesy as it sounds it could be a little romantic. It may not be a full solution, but a small way to keep things open between you two, and to open the door for a little sweetness.





Sorry I couldn't be more help.
It's an uphill battle and is not ideal. You need to work work work at it. And SEIZE on the opportunity to spend all time together you can.





When my wife and I were younger we worked opposite shifts. We finally had Sunday come and she wanted to go out with her friends. I was SO hurt. I've spent no time with you in 7 days and you now have a day off and you want to go with your friends?





She got it.
You'd have to actually make an effort to *make* time for each other, instead of it happening naturally. Also, to a certain degree you both will have to accept that your lives will require some extra effort, and adapt to spending time without each other.
It takes more work and effort than other marriages, but it can work.





EDIT: My ';deep insight'; is that I have to work my *** off to have a good marriage. There is no secret, it has to do with compatibility, love, and a want to have the marriage.


EDIT#2: Hasn't he already moved out and you have separated because of his drinking and not behaving like a husband? I looked back to that question from yesterday or the day before, and let me tell you, it will take an absolute commitment on BOTH of your parts, TIME to heal the relationship, and EFFORT to make each other happy. You are asking how to get your marriage back and fix it, not hypothetically how other people do it.
just plan a day where it will just be u 2 and tell him that he will not go to work on this day. yall really need to spend time 2gthr.


hope i helped %26amp;%26amp; good luck (:
At some point you are going to have to realize which is more important... your schedules or your marriage.
it's hard and some-cpls cant make it work.