How often does a marriage devolve into a child/parent relationship?

I see this a lot with married people, where one person will be the authority figure and the other takes on the role of the helpless child. Why do you think this happens? Is it just laziness, do most people want to be taken care of? Must a relationship include at least one care giver?How often does a marriage devolve into a child/parent relationship?
It happens when ever a bossy person marries a wimpy person. This is a VERY common combination.





Like I always say, there is no such thing as a 50/50 relationship. One person always has more leverage. Its not because they want to be in charge.. its just how things naturally go. You can't have a harmonious relationship with two leaders and no followers or two followers and no leaders. Everyone can't be the CEO. Everyone can't be the worker. It just doesn't make sense.








EDIT: What ';Got it'; says also makes sense. You can switch back and forth from each role. But you both can't be the same role at the same time.How often does a marriage devolve into a child/parent relationship?
Opposites attract, plus I think in any relationship there is always one who is more dominant and one who is less so. it can be quite balanced, but obviously if it's getting to extremes, it's not going to be great for either of them - if the 'boss' is running themself ragged trying to organise everything or the 'child' feels constantly put down by their partner. I think if you have a very cool, independent person in a relationship, you do need the other person to be the care giver, to glue the relationship together, and if one person is less organised, they might need someone more together to make sure domestic things run smoothly (bills etc) but I guess it depends on the needs of the individual couples :-)
Ummm... I think that this can happen periodically through out a marriage. It isn't necessarily a permanent situation. For example, if one spouse is ill, the other would of course take the role of the care taker. If one spouse is totally out of line regarding something, the other would stand up and take control of the situation. If one spouse is going through a period of rebellion or misbehavior, then the other might go behind them to conduct damage control. Sometimes one spouse will need to be stood up for by the other. If you truly love your spouse you would want to take care of them no matter what the circumstance. I donut think it is a child/ parent relationship, sometimes on needs to be cared for. Sometimes life is good and no one needs any special attention. Marriage is a long journey and the dynamics change as the years go by, hopefully for the better. There are time where I have had to take care of my husband and times when he has had to take care of me, for many different reasons.
Ideally, both should do some caregiving of the other person. This only works if it's a gift freely given, however. Sometimes, a really dysfunctional arrangement works out where one person is ';sick'; all the time, or ';delicate'; or ';helpless';. This is not a good arrangement, never mind a good example for the real chilldren in the house!





I tend to see this more lately where the guy is assumed to be helpless, so the wife bosses him around. I did know a family as a kid where the wife had childhood cancer, and everyone sort of tiptoed around her even as an adult. What a curse.
Happens a lot. Infact, more often than we even realize. We realized early on that neither of us could be the know-it-all in all the fields of existence. I let her take up the lead in certain issues, and she let's me take up the lead in others. It happens so unconsciously that we don't even have to think twice about it. One reason could be lazyness, but it won't help in the long run. Trust, convenience, timing are just a few other reasons. A relationship with only one care giver drains the care giver. Taking turns or dividing labor works for the betterment of the relationship over a period of time.
At my old job we did a lot of things on personalities and I think what it comes down to is what kind of person you are and what kind of person they are.





I'm the type where things are my way or the highway, since there are other people like that it's harder for us to get along so i end up in relationships that are with fellows who don't mind letting me lead.





Sometimes though if you aren't aware of this and neither is your partner, it can degress into something like a child/parent relationship because instead of talking it out you just assume the other knows what they are doing to you, or that they might assume that they know you just don't want to take charge so its up to them.





It comes to communication and recognizing yourself for who you are.
Hmmm, that's an interesting question. I have honestly never seen this except in the case where one partner becomes ill and the other becomes the caregiver, or when older men marry much younger ';trophy'; wives. It's not the case in my own marriage.





I guess that it's probably a different reason, including those you have given, in each case.
Uusally it happens because one is the mature one and the other is not as mature. The mature one ends up becoming the parent to the immature one.





Goes the same with responsibility....the responsible pne takes on all the burden and becomes more like the parent.
Interesting observation i have seen it also and am not sure what to make of the dynamic in terms of a generalisation. I think it's even more unfortunate when you see children taking on the role of parent i knoww that this can be ver damaging.
Because opposites attract. There are times in a person's life well having someone to care for them or answer the questions and yes even make all the decisions is welcomed. And who better to rely on then your best Friend , your spouse.
no they mustn't include one care giver, just some people are more naturally one or the other and since opposites attract....
Some people naturally swing to the roles of Dominate and submissive.
it happens because most people are complete retards.
To often!
I've only witnessed this in old people. Maybe they're just tired.
upioluytp689