How do i trust that my cheating husband wants to make our marriage work?

Found out 6 wks ago that he was exchanging love emails with a woman we both know; he swears its all over and he wants only me in his life; but i feel so insecure. How do i learn to trust him again?How do i trust that my cheating husband wants to make our marriage work?
As long as you stay with him you will always feel insecure and you will never trust him. He will continue to cheat on you. Don't live in misery due to his infidelity.How do i trust that my cheating husband wants to make our marriage work?
I'm struggling with this myself. I have a ';date'; with my husband today to talk about what his conditions are for coming home. I feel like i want to lay down the law about what he can and cannot do, but at the same time I don't want to scare him off by being too demanding.





I think the most important thing is that if you are to forgive him you have to forgive him. Don't constantly bring it up, don't constantly remind him of what he has done. I know this is hard to do but if you want to make your marriage work it is a must. Forgive him, put it behind you, but keep your eyes open for future indiscretions.
Let me tell you from very recent experience like a week old. My husband confessed just last week he cheated on me 4 years ago and then 4 times just in this last year. It is something you are going to have to work through yourself without any outside influences. Ask yourself if you still Love him and if you want it to work. Then and only then can you begin to heal and think about trusting him again. You have to find the strength from inside of yourself. I feel your pain trust me I do because it is all so fresh for me. I chose to talk with my husband (and sometimes fight) every night and find out what is missing in our relationship and see if it can be mended. Trust me it isn't easy listening to what he has to say sometimes it hurts, but stay strong. But don't listen to these people telling you to pack his bags. Follow your heart and it will not fail you. Good Luck to you now and in your future your will be in my thoughts.
Knowing what you are going thru and my experience it is so hard, my husband cheated on me a yr. ago. I still have my moments to where i am wondering stuff. I don't know how long it is going to take i may never be able to 100% trust, but i do love him enough to work at it. The main thought that runs through my head is, is he just settling with me because the other women broke it off with him (although i was right there when he did it) or does he really want me. Why i am telling you this is because your mind wll play tricks on you and make you think and feel alot of things, but you will know in your heart if he is really loving you and wanting you. Your heart and mind don't want to work together in these situations. Be patient..
sometimes people do things without really thinking of the consequences, your husband might have done what he did without thinking,or because he was lacking something he wanted.





all in all if you love him you have to forgive him and move on ,the fact that he is willing to make the marriage work means he loves you too.





find in your heart to forgive him and forget. if you think you cant trust him again, then you have no marriage to work on.





no trust, nothing is.





goodluck.






It takes lots of time, and 6 weeks is not nearly enough.





He needs to be sincere and only you can determine if you think his intentions for you are genuine.





Look at your history too of before the email exchange, and make sure he has no contact with this other women.





It may never work out for you too again, so be ready for that as well.
i want to commend you for wanting to try to mend this. I was not so willing to live thru that. My mother was however. My dad had to put up with her tantrums, her insecurities and finally her acceptance. It is NOT easy to get past this and he has to be willing to do what ever it takes to make you feel safe again. My mother had 5 kids to raise and knew she couldnt do it alone and, she loved him very much-- even 50 years later she still gets butterfly's when he comes around. It really is about being safe in his arms again. it is a violation and the interloper has to be history! My mom has not forgotten but has forgiven.
How many lines in the sand do you plan on drawing?





You take him back, he will know he can do whatever he wants, providing you don't find out about it- and heck, even if you do, you'll still keep his cheating azz...





And to the person above me, you plan on giving your husband ';conditions';? Are you kidding? The vows you took WERE CONDITIONS! ';Conditions'; is obviously not something your husband takes very seriously...
If you love him you have the choice of





1. Being immature, and divorcing him... As 95% of this messed up world says to do.





2, Or prove that you love him. Stick to your marriage vows, for better or worse. And make him earn your trust. You both need so seek counseling either way.
It just takes time and alot of dedication on your part. You'll have the nightmares and the worries for quite a while. You WILL come to a point that you KNOW that he is being completely true to you. I can't say when, but you'll just know it. I've been there. Good luck!
You have to figure out what is best for you, what makes you happiest.


And go by that. I don't know your situation but i would advice you to give him another chance if there is mutual love.





When there is love there is no guilt only compromise 鈾?





Peace





Here is my question:


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
it will take a long time and hard work on his part to gain your trust back,


and your insecurity wont go away overnight you will both have to be honest with each other about what you want and your feelings


good luck
wow that's hard. trust is broken so easy and it takes A LOT of work to get at least a lil bit back. i guess you could start by having him go see a counselor.
It's going to take a long time. I still don't trust mine and it's been 2 1/2 years. He has done thing to make me trust him. Your hubby needs to earn it back.
Sometimes you just can't. If you don't have trust in a relationship then you don't have anything.



I can't imagine he just shut off his feelings for this other woman. Humans do not work like this. I would be leary.
I wouldn't trust him, he's already proven himself to be a jerk. He'll do it again in the future. Leave leave leave.
You don't have to do anything...trust is earned. The ball is in his court.
Make him earn it back. And make it clear that if he doesnt respect you again that youre leaving. You have to
He has to earn your trust
He has to do all the work. Not you.