Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How has your attitude about marriage changed over time?

How old are you? Are you a former ';marriage is for suckers'; man/woman? When did it change? Why?





I've never had an issue with marriage but many people (especially under 25) do, although most eventually change their minds I think. Your thoughts?How has your attitude about marriage changed over time?
Hi Nice lady.....I will be busy today at work just wanted to see what was up before I got started and I saw YOU here! Haven't seen you in awhile! : )





My attitude on marriage has not changed, because for us, we have a Christ centered marriage and God is never changing. We try our best to fulfill our roles as husband and wife and help each other be better people. We are in this for life.





For the record, I am 33, he is 42....and yes, I really do think age has a lot to do with it. My husband is not a dishrag to be tossed out....if one of us is unhappy, it is up to US to make things better......I think that is part of the difference with some couples.....with my husband and I, it is ALWAYS ';Us';, not you and me, or yours and mine....we always use the words, ';we'; and ';our'; and ';us';......usually statements starting with ';I'; are often followed by negativity and selfishness....with exception to ';I love you'; of course!





Good question!How has your attitude about marriage changed over time?
43 years old.





I never had a 'marriage is for suckers' mentality. However, when I was younger, I probably didn't understand the significance of it nearly as much as I do now. Back then, it was just part of some life checklist. . graduate from college (check), start a career (check), get married (check), have kids (check).





I would say that the most significant thing that affected my view on marriage was the birth of my daughter. I don't consider myself a selfish person, but until that point my mindset was generally about my needs and my wife's needs. However, when my daughter, who is my first child, was born, I had an epiphany. It wasn't just me any more. It was almost like looking back in time, to a time when my dad was bringing me into the world, and then my grandfather bringing him into the world, etc. Then I could also see forward; to some day in the future when my son would have his son, etc... It was almost like touching immortality. I wasn't a point anymore. It was something much bigger.





Anyhow, this view made me realize the importance of being a good husband. I'm not always perfect, but the experience above showed me how important it is to be married and to live up to that role.





I've babbled long enough.
My opinion on marriage has never changed; then again, I am only 24. Maybe it will change as I get older, however I don't see it changing.





I've always been fairly mature for my age, and I've always had a very positive outlook on marriage. I've never been the type to discourage marriage. I understand it's not for everyone, but it is for me. Even if my current marriage didn't work out (I don't see it failing, we're happy..) I would marry again if I fell in love and wanted to have that commitment to someone again. For me, marriage is an important part of life. I enjoy having that deep commitment to someone, and I enjoy the closeness, the bond, and the connection marriage creates.





I disagree with people saying marriage changes nothing, because I feel marriage changes a lot. I will always look at us as an ';US'; and not a him and I, because we are married and that's what marriage is about.
Its not the under 25's who think marriage is for suckers, they are still wide eyed optimists.





Its as people get in their 30s and start seeing what happens in marriages around them - or their own - that their opinions change.





I'd guess that people under 25 who think marriage is for suckers have been talking to a lot of guys in their 30's.
I am 35, married for 8 LONG years...my attitude changed about marriage, I see now why people told me NOT to get hitched...I got married because I love my wife...I desire her, even still today, she is smart, witty and beautiful...but her attitude to marriage is completely different...she apparently just wants a live in money machine, that will do her chores and raise the children...so my attitude toward marriage is it sucks...if I wanted a live in person I would have gotten a roommate.
I have been with my husband for almost 12 years. We are high school sweethearts, we also have 3 children. It has been good %26amp; bad but we've made it through %26amp; today, we are the happiest we've probably ever been. Marriage or any relationship, you have to work at it everyday. Hear each other out. Just love %26amp; respect 1 another :) who said marriage was going to ba all rainbows %26amp; butterflies? Any relationship has it's ups %26amp; downs. Everyone talks about how marriage sucks, nobody is talking about all the good stuff! My husband is my best friend, I know that sounds cheesy but it's true! We talk about everything! He's also the best father ever :) but I will say this, it was bumpy %26amp; rocky for us when we were younger. So DON'T GET MARRIED WHEN YOU'RE IN YOUR TEENS OR EARLY 20'S!! Wait until you're both mature. There's no rush on love..
I have been married for 19 years. I have stayed through good and bad.


Marriage just isn't what it should be anymore. People these days don't take their vows seriously. If they're married and see someone who's HOT ..they sleep with them. Marriage is just a way of knowing that the other person is theirs(Even though they may not really be.) or to make that person feel ';wanted';. Marriage is just something to do these days and I think it doesn't mean as much as it used to.
i've been married 1 month. we were dating for 3 years before marriage. and we have a 14 month old baby together.





marriage is good. there are days i wish i was single again, without any responislibites, but for the most part, i enjoy my family. i think we're even closer now that we have a family. alsok there is SOO much comfort knowing you can completely be yourself 100% and the person you're with LOVES you for it. my hubby is a great hubby. and i'm just NOW realizing. no one is perfect. people change. you roll w/ the punches. AND trust me, there are NOT a ton of great catches out there, so when you find one, KEEP HIM.





i have images of us growing old together and playing scrabble. and taking road trips. of playing with our grandchildren. of us just being HAPPY. it's nice that i love someone so much and he loves me. and that when we die, we can say we lived a fullfilled life. and have loved and been loved.





what i've learn being in a serious relationship with children, is this: life is not so black and white. marriage/relationships are WORK. and you're either in it to win it or you're bound to lose. i'm realistic about ruts and medicore sex. but i'm also realistic about fun and GREAT sex. and those really awesome times that we have together.





basically: MARRIAGE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. period.
I was burned pretty badly by a guy I thought I would marry way back when....and for quite a while after that, I had no interest in getting married. I had no interest in having a serious, long-term relationship. I wasn't ready for it and really was not interested in EVER getting married.





But that was because I was still healing from a bad relationship. Once I was ready to move on, I happened to meet my husband. Up until the hour before meeting him for our first date, I still claimed that I never wanted to get married. Immediately after our first date.....I met up with my best friend on my way home for a drink and to dish on how my date went. The first thing I told her was ';I just met the guy I am going to marry';. Three months later, I moved in with him. Not even two years after our first date, we were married.





I think a lot of the people that say ';I never want to get married'; may have been burned in one way or another by an ex or even watched their parents have a horrible marriage. It is more of a way to protect themself from getting too close to anyone. To protect themself from getting hurt.
i am 37 and currently am a marriage is for suckers person.





All of my friends are married and quite frankly i am sick of hearing them ***** and complain about their significant others!





If anyone gets married in their 20's they are completely out of their minds!
attitude, maturity, communications, common interests, family and friends make all the difference.





drugs, drinking, debt, gambling, carousing, violence, co-dependence and isolation do as well.
weddings are a pointless exercise in extravagance... marriage adds nothing to a strong relationship, except for women to feel ';whole';!!!





when my marriage finally falls apart, i won't be doing it again...
32, thought marriage was awesome before i got married...now i realize it's for sucka's
I'm 19 and happily married for almost a year :) lovin every minute if it!
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